Home of Memories
by A-Simple-Rainbow
Summary: When Burt has another heart attack Blaine has to help his husband Kurt deal with the very likely death of his father. This is set in the future, when Kurt and Blaine live in NY, are married and have kids.
1. Be Here

Blaine frowned as he watched Kurt check his phone for the twentieth time since they sat down to watch the movie – his fingers were thrumming against the arm of the couch, setting up a quick, stressful rhythm, which his leg soon followed.

"I'm sorry, did I do something to upset you, Kurt?" Blaine sighed, flicking the remote and pausing the film.

"What? No, of course not… why would you…?"

"You've been acting kind of pissed since you got here. I mean, I know you wanted to go see that play, but…"

"It's not that, Blaine…" Kurt smiled, but it didn't really reach his eyes.

"What is it then?"

"It's my dad…" he sighed "I'm just worried. He was having some chest pains this morning, so I drove him to the hospital… I was going to call you and cancel today, but he wouldn't let me stay there."

"Oh…"

"I mean, he's not alone, Carole's there, but I still don't feel comfortable about it, you know…"

"Of course…" Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand. God, he hated this! Whenever Burt's heart came into the conversation, or Kurt's mom… he just didn't know what to do, or what to say that could make the situation better. He just couldn't stand seeing Kurt like this and not knowing how to make him feel better. He eyed Kurt's hand, still in his as his fingers ran careful patterns on the smooth palm, and took it quickly to his lips before sighing. "Kurt, I gotta be honest here… I have no idea what to say or do when these things come up. I just… I wanna help, and I want to make you feel better, but I just don't know… how."

Kurt eyed Blaine, his smile finally reaching his eyes as he spoke softly "Blaine… You don't have to do anything. Just… be here. Hold my hand… talk to me… just _be here_."

"Ok…"

"And don't ask me if burying Pavarotti reminds me of my dead mother…" he added with a soft chuckle.

Blaine felt his cheeks burn and hung his head with an embarrassed smile "Sorry…"

Kurt continued to laugh quietly as he scooted closer to Blaine, wrapping his arms around him and pressing his cheek against Blaine's chest, tucking himself tight in Blaine's embrace, which Blaine was quick to tighten "Just be here."

xXxXx

"Alright, thanks Carole, yeah, I'll be there tomorrow morning." Kurt held the phone between his shoulder and his year as packed an extra pair of socks "No, no. Blaine's staying here with the kids. It's just me."

Blaine bit his lip at that, trying to hold back the protest he wanted to voice. Carole had called that morning with the news that Burt was in the hospital and that they were still running tests but it had probably been another heart attack and that he was stable, but it was serious. In five minutes Blaine had turned on the computer and they were checking for flights.

But Alice and Thomas still had a few days left of school, including tests, so Kurt had insisted that Blaine stay behind with the kids, and then, if need be, he'd fly down when school was out.

The month before, when they'd gone for a quick visit on their way up from a weekend in L.A., Kurt had been worried about how tired Burt had looked. He played with the kids, but anyone could see how hard he found it to keep up. He'd called Carole afterwards and asked her if he should move back to Ohio for a while but that very same day they got a call from a very stern Burt saying that he would have none of this "moving back business to take care of the old man!"

But now Blaine could see the regret and self-hatred in Kurt's eyes as he moved frantically around their room packing their biggest suitcase. "I should've just…"

"Kurt…" Blaine sighed reaching out from where he was sitting at their bedroom desk and grabbing his hand "Come here…"

Kurt let himself be steered onto Blaine's lap "You shouldn't've done anything that you didn't do." Blaine said firmly, yet soft "There was nothing you could've done to prevent this, Kurt…"

"I could've been there making him eat right!"

"Which Carole was already doing. Listen, you'll go now, ok? and you'll stay there for as long as necessary, and whenever I can, I'll go meet you guys. But you gotta stop blaming yourself. This is not your fault! It's no one's fault."

"I bet he's been burying himself under stress…"

"I doubt it." Blaine rubbed his hands across Kurt's back "Finn said he'd been resting plenty since his retirement."

"Well!... what was it then, Blaine, huh?" Kurt snapped, fresh tears starting to burn his eyes "What made his heart stop again, Blaine?"

"Honey, it was a-"

"Don't say it was age!" Kurt jumped to his feet stepping as far away from Blaine as possible, stopping only as his back was pressed against the wall, wrapping his arms around his middle "Don't you dare say it was age!"

"But… Kurt, it was…"

"No!" Kurt nearly screamed "No, it's not age! Because if it's age then there's nothing I can do about it, and he'll just… No! It's not age, Blaine… it's _**not**_!"

Blaine stared at Kurt all words disappearing from his tongue. There was nothing he could say. There was nothing to say. Nothing that could make Kurt stop crying. Nothing that could make him less scared. Nothing that could make Blaine feel like he was helping.

Blaine swallowed the lump in his own throat and walked up to Kurt wrapping his arms around him and holding him tightly. "It's not age…" Kurt mumbled, his face buried in Blaine's neck "It's not…"

"Ok, baby, ok…" Blaine nodded softly.

After a few moments, when Kurt's sobs had subsided Blaine finally pulled away. With a careful hand under his chin he made Kurt look up to meet his eyes, moving his hand to cup his cheek, wiping the tears off that flawless skin. With a soft smile he kissed him and muttered "Come on, finish up your bag, we need to get you to the airport pretty soon.

xXxXx

"Alice, finish your breakfast!" Blaine warned her sternly.

"But I don't wanna!" she whined loudly – her piercing blue eyes fierce and determined.

"But I wanna!" he snapped back. He was not in the mood for this kind of nonsense. He moved around the kitchen in quick, harsh movements, practically throwing dishes into the sink and kicking the fridge door closed. "I'm serious, dammit!" he groaned as he noticed she had barely moved "Eat your breakfast or help me god you will go to school and starve until lunch!"

"Fine!"

"Fi-" Blaine was interrupted by his cell phone ringing. He picked it up at once "Kurt?"

"Blaine…?" Kurt's voice was so small, so broken. Blaine felt his throat tighten at once, hurrying to close himself in their bedroom.

"I'm here…"

"He's so _small_…" Kurt whispered, as if speaking aloud would make it worse "He looks so old! So… fragile… Blaine…. Blaine!" Kurt's voice broke and all that Blaine could hear now were harsh sobs.

"Oh, Kurt…!" he sighed, letting his back slide against the door as he sat on the floor, waiting until Kurt could speak again.

"I'm… I… This is n-not my dad, Blaine. It's… it's not! M-my dad is b-big and stro-ong. Not this… not this o-old m-man who l-ooks… oh my god, Blaine… he looks l-like he's d-d-dying!"

"Was he awake when you got there?"

"Y-yes… I'm n-not sure how I managed t-to keep myself f-from cry-i-ing. I just… C-carole came back, j-just n-now and I e-excused myself to-to use the bathro-oom and the mo-ment I t-turned around I w-was s-sobbing and I f-found an e-empty ro-oom to c-call you."

"What did the doctors say, do you know?" Blaine asked quickly, trying not give his voice enough room to shake or break.

"Pretty m-much the s-same as l-last night." Blaine could almost see Kurt's miserable shrug "he's stable, but th-they s-say he b-barely made it."

"What does that mean, though?"

"It… means… it means that… his h-eart… it's… it's pretty much do-done for."

"Oh… are they… are they giving him a transplant…? Or…?"

"They got him o-on the list, but… he's too old… He'll n-never get a heart at th-this age." And just like that Kurt was sobbing uncontrollably again.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt, I'm so sorry!" Blaine gasped, trying to sniff back his own tears "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I'm sorry…" He heard the shuffling of plates outside and Alice and Thomas' voices and he couldn't bear even just opening the door and facing them like this "Kurt… Do you want me… do you want us… to fly down?"

"N-NO!" Kurt was practically panting now "Th-they c-can't see him l-like _this_!"

"Kurt… they're eight, they can handle it better than you think."

"No… I d-don't want them to see this." Kurt sounded like he was trying to gather himself and Blaine could hear water running "And me… I don't want them to see me like _this_."

"But… honey, I don't want you to be alone… I need to be there for you."

"You are…" Kurt sighed "And I'm not alone, I've got Carole and Finn… I'm fine. I am. Stay there with the kids, Blaine."

xXxXx

Blaine stared ahead in the darkness of their bedroom, the silence completely overwhelming. He had gotten so used to Kurt breathing right next to him that its absence only made everything seem scarier. It's not as if they didn't spend nights apart ever – they did, every once in a while Kurt would have an audition in LA, or Blaine would be on tour promoting his new book, or giving week long lectures as a guest at universities. But this was the first time it was forced, and excruciating. Blaine would give anything to have Kurt back in their bed, where he could wrap himself around him, and keep him warm, because how was Kurt keeping warm alone in his old bed? Who would he cling to if he had the overwhelming urge to just bury his face in someone and cry? Who would kiss him over and over again and tell him he loved him and that he'd be alright eventually? Who would he talk to about his fears and his worries? Who would be there in the morning when he woke up so he wouldn't feel so completely alone and lost?

He wiped his tears away and pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes, urging them to stop, with a deep sigh. "Dammit…" he muttered, flicking his light on and getting up. He picked up his empty glass and his cell phone and went quietly to the kitchen, filling it with milk and putting it in the microwave. As he waited for the milk he turned the TV on and put it in mute – the last thing he needed was for the kids to wake up, and debated whether he should call Kurt, or send him a text. He watched as Arnold Schwarzenegger ran naked across a parking lot. The microwave beeped quietly and he grabbed the glass, taking it with him to the couch. He sipped his milk quietly as he paid just enough attention that his eyes remained dry, and his throat perfectly able.

After a while he heard his cell vibrating against the kitchen counter. He nearly toppled off his glass in his haste to pick it up.

"Kurt?"

"I need you…"

"What?"

"I need you here, Blaine." There was a long pause before Kurt's voice spoke again "Carole… is at the h-hospital, and I-I'm all alone… and t-this house… it's _so_ empty… j-just… i-it's not h-home witho-out _someone_." There was long drawn out sigh "I need you."

"Ok…"

"Just… ask Ms. Jensen if Alice can take her test so-some other time, or if m-maybe she could just e-mail her s-something else. Get the kids and come h-hold me, p-please."

"Ok, ok… ok."


	2. The Talk

"Blaine, wait a sec…" Burt called out, as Blaine's foot landed on the first step of the stairs, two diet cokes and a sandwich in his hands.

"Yes?" He backtracked a little, turning to the man who had gotten up from his usual seat to stand right in front of Blaine, towering over him.

"Come here, put those down…" He placed a friendly, though firm hand on Blaine's shoulder directing him towards the coffee table, where Blaine followed his instructions fighting off a grimace. Oh, how he hoped he'd avoid the talk "I'm not going to give you the talk, kid, relax. It's been seven months, Blaine, I think if I were to give you the talk it had been a long time ago."

"Oh…" That did not relax him at all.

"You make Kurt happy." Burt said this like a fact, not an opinion, not a question, a fact.

"I hope so."

"No, you do. Ever since he met you he has an easier smile, and when you two finally got together he just… smiles all the time, and he's got this extra bounce in his step, and… He's happy, you make him happy."

"Well, he makes me happy."

"Good, I want you to be happy, too, kid. The thing is, I love my son, and I love it when he's happy, and by extension I love whatever it is that's making him happy. I couldn't hate you if I tried, Blaine."

"Oh… I… huh…" _love you too?_

"I just want to make sure you know you're always welcome at this house. I know your parents aren't around much, so, whenever you want come by, I don't mind, I'd actually love it. And, maybe you could start coming over for our Friday night dinners?..." Burt smiled and shrugged "I know Kurt's upset sometimes that he can't go out with you Friday nights, which, I've been informed, is the night of the week your parents allow you to go out… on dates. So, come by for dinner, and then you two can go do whatever you want."

"I…"

"Listen, I know this might feel like I'm pressuring you… Like you can't break up with Kurt, now because you'll disappoint us, or something like that. That's not it at all. I just… I want you kids to know we support your relationship, and I really like you and your presence in Kurt's life, in _our_ life."

"Thank you, sir."

"Burt."

"Thank you, Burt." Blaine chuckled.

xXxXx

"Blaine…" Carole knocked softly on the door. Blaine was sitting against the headboard, quietly reading, enjoying his little break from the kids as Kurt took them to the park for a few hours "Burt's calling for you, sweetie."

"Oh… is everything alright? Should I call Kurt?"

"No, it's fine. I think he just needs a word." She smiled and left. Blaine frowned slightly as he put his book down. He grabbed his cell anyway, just in case he'd need to call Kurt.

He knocked carefully before pushing the door open. Burt was sitting on his bed, propped up by a mountain of pillows behind his back. The sight no longer shocked Blaine, not just because he'd gotten used to it, but also because Burt did look a lot better now. It'd been a month since the heart attack, and two weeks since the doctors let him come home. He'd gotten a little fatter now (given his condition Kurt had caved in and let the man enjoy his meals) and had a healthier glow to his skin. He was not allowed to leave the house though, so he would vary his landscape between his bedroom and the living room. As he saw Blaine he flicked the remote turning the TV off. "Ah!" he smiled "Day time TV is too damn boring!" he rolled his eyes.

"Do you need anything, Burt?"

"Sit down, son." Blaine nodded with a small smile and did as told "I'm no idiot. I know I'm dying..." Burt shrugged.

"Burt…!-"

"No, it's true. It could be two days from now, a month, two months… I don't know how long my heart will last me, but It'll be soon. Honestly, I'm ok with that. I've lived a long, happy life, and I have no regrets. And I even get a fair warning and the chance to set my things in order, say my goodbyes… If only I could get out of this damned house!"

"Burt, you can't, it's…"

"I know, I know…" Burt rolled his eyes and waved a dismissive hand "So Alice's shaping up to be just like Kurt, hey…"

"Yeah, it's crazy…" Blaine chuckled "Thank god Tommy is not that much like me and actually has a _backbone_, otherwise she would just make a slave out of him!"

Burt threw his head back in a heartfelt laugh. "Are you Kurt's slave, Blaine?" he chuckled after a moment and Blaine nearly choked on his breath "No, don't answer that, I don't want to know!"

"Ok…" Blaine laughed quietly, blushing.

Burt's chuckles subsided but were replaced by an honest smile and Blaine almost saw that same forty-something year old man he'd first met and been scared of all those years ago "You're a good man, Blaine."

"I… I try to be, Burt. I hope I am."

"You are. I want to thank you, while I have the chance."

"What… what for?"

"Everything." Burt shrugged "Making Kurt happy, giving me the most amazing grandchildren ever, making Carole giggle like crazy, helping Finn survive his brother's anger… being our friend… our family… just being in my life…"

"I… Burt, it's been my pleasure." Blaine smiled "You've… Your family gave me things I never dreamed of." Blaine reached out and took Burt's hand "I felt… _feel _so accepted, so safe in your home… so loved."

"You_ are_ loved, Blaine." Burt's eyes shone a little as he continued "I don't think I ever just praised you for you, son." He paused nodding to himself "I always told you how grateful I was for how you treated Kurt… I don't think I ever separated you from him. But you gotta know, Blaine, you are a very good man. Regardless of who you're married to, I am very proud to have met you and to call you my family. When you guys moved to New York I really missed watching our games together, and Friday night dinners just weren't the same without you… And you're so… good. You've got the kindest heart, Blaine. Someone like you… they don't come often." Burt switched their hands so he was now holding Blaine's between his two "You are a great man, Blaine Anderson. I am very lucky to have you in my life."

Blaine nodded, swallowing hard, trying very hard not to let himself be overcome. "You…" he stopped, taking a deep breath before starting again "You're like a father to me, Burt." He smiled, and he felt a couple of tears weighing on his lashes "Thank you… for everything. But… but I'm going to need you to tell me that, again, next year, ok? And the year after that…?"

Burt chuckled, not judging Blaine in the least for slipping back into denial, for not being able to say it out loud or even just acknowledge it "I'll see what I can do."

"It's just that I'll need you to remind me of that when Alice is slamming bedroom doors and screaming we're the most horrible parents ever…"

"Oh, god, if it's anything like Kurt…!" Burt muttered ominously.

"And it will be." Blaine finished with a sigh and they both shared loud laughter.

They talked a little more for a little while, about Alice and Thomas and how they were doing in school and how Blaine just knew Alice was going to break way too many hearts, and Thomas was going to get his heart broken just as many times. He told Burt how just the week before they came down to Lima Kurt and Blaine had caught Alice trying to pay Thomas fifty cents to clean her room every week. And every once in a while Blaine could see Burt's smile falter and he wondered if he was thinking of all the things he'd miss out on his grandkids' lives. So, even if Blaine's heart just got tighter and tighter, he would come up with something else, some other joke to throw around and take Burt's thoughts out of it.

When Burt started yawning Blaine finally smiled sweetly "You should rest, Burt, I'll leave you to it… I think I'll go look for Kurt and the kids…"

"You can't keep away from them, can you?"

"No, I cannot." Blaine smiled agreeing with a chuckle, getting up.

"See you later, kid."

Blaine pondered, and after a moment he dove, wrapping his arms around Burt. He felt the older man smile against his shoulder "Thanks, Burt."

"I love you, kid…"

"I love you, too, Burt." He mumbled as pulled back. He shot another smile at him "Oh, you should write me a parenting book based on your experiences with Kurt, it'd be the best thing to help me with Alice since I discovered fashion blackmail!" before turning around and opening the door and slipping out. As soon as the door clicked closed Blaine had his hand pressed hard against his mouth and his eyes tightly shut, tears already pouring out of them as he tried hard to keep back the loud sobs boiling up inside of him, trying to burst free. Every inch of him was shaking and he could hardly move, let alone walk, but he had to, he _should_, because he needed to scream and yell and sob… As he bit down on his own fist he felt his back slide against the door and he found himself hugging his knees to his chest in a vain attempt of stopping his body from trembling and falling apart.

He heard their voices coming from the stairs and he fumbled trying to get up, but before he could even so much as take his hand from his mouth Kurt was standing there. They exchanged a split second look before Kurt turned "Go ask your grandma for a snack, you gotta be starving. Go on! And… And wash your hands!"

As their steps were quick to trod back down the stairs Kurt was kneeling next to Blaine in no time.

"What's wrong? Is he…? Did he…?"

"No… no…" Blaine managed to mumble "It's not that…"

Kurt just nodded wrapping an arm around him and helping him up. They walked silently to their – Kurt's – old bedroom, only Blaine's erratic breathing between them. As Kurt closed the door gently Blaine crawled to their bed, hugging his pillow and allowing himself to cry a little louder now.

Kurt bit his lip and sighed sadly before climbing and holding Blaine in a close embrace, burying his nose in the back of Blaine's nose. "Do you want to talk…?"

Blaine shook his head slightly before mumbling "N-not now."

"Ok… We'll just… ok…" Kurt kissed Blaine's neck before settling back to nuzzling his hair while Blaine shook and cried.

The truth was that Blaine had been so worried and scared for Kurt that he'd barely let himself stop and think about what this meant for _him_. Burt was going to die, soon. Blaine would never get to call him up when Kurt was being particularly difficult and ask him for help or advice. He'd never get to discuss the latest game with him, comment on how good a season it was shaping up to be. He'd never get to laugh along with Burt while Kurt stood there shooting them daggers with his eyes. He'd never get to watch Burt playing ball with Tommy again, and he'd never get the chance to join them, either. He'd never get a man to clap his back affectionately and tell him it was good to finally see him again. He'd never get someone to ask him, every time they spoke, when his next book was coming out because he just couldn't wait.

The big things, the big speeches, the big moments – they were nice, but… the small things… the quick smiles, the hidden winks, the shared laughs, the warning glances, the amused shoulder bumps… He'd never get those back.

The big things, the big speeches, the big moments – he'd still have them, he'd remember them forever, they weren't going anywhere. And he had all of them, none missing, forgotten or left out. But the small things, those are the ones that happen and you forget about them in ten seconds, because, for some stupid reason, your brain thinks they're not important. And they're the most important thing in the whole world – they're the glue that holds everything else together. All those big things, those big speeches, those big hugs, they're only there because the small things made them possible.

So, how is a person supposed to handle losing those…? How would Blaine ever stop looking for Burt at the dinner table when he knew he found something just as funny as Blaine did? How would he ever stop grabbing his cell phone right away after a terrific touchdown to call Burt?... because they might be miles apart but they still watch those games together, one way or another. How was Blaine ever going to stop from answering "at least I still have mine!" when Burt made fun of his mop of hair, and how was he supposed to let go of Burt making fun of his mop of hair?

No, Burt wasn't just his father-in-law, he wasn't just Kurt's terrific dad… he was one of Blaine's best friends, he was everything Blaine had missed and needed growing up. So how was he supposed to let him go?

"I'm s-sorry, K-kurt…" Blaine muttered after a while, turning in his husband's arms to face him, their noses not even an inch apart "You sh-shouldn't… I shouldn't…"

"Hey, hey, don't be silly." Kurt muttered rubbing his nose against Blaine for a moment "You've been my rock, I don't know what I would have done without you here, so… if you need to be upset, you have that right… and _I'm_ here…"

"It's just… I-I've been s-so worried abo-out you and I never stopped t-to think w-what my lif-fe's going to be like witho-out him. I really love him, Kurt… I'm gonna miss him so m-much."

"I know, I know, baby…"

xXxXx

_(just in case you were wondering, though, this will have five chapters, so, three more to go. And yes, this will be pure angst and you might find some illustrations, at some point, in my DeviantArt gallery: a-simple-rainbow)_


	3. Come Home

"David, please refrain from blowing those right to my face, will you?" Wes rolled his eyes at the now bald dandelion David held between two fingers.

Blaine smiled as he brushed off his shoulders the few little specs of white dust.

"Blaine, do you think Kurt would agree to decorate my flat?" David wondered, ignoring completely Wes' scowl. David had been accepted to Berkeley. His parents had gotten him an apartment near campus and from the few pictures Blaine had seen it was still pretty empty and white.

Blaine burst out laughing "Well, sure, if you don't mind giving up total control… and have a rather large decorating budget."

"Cool!" David beamed "I'll call him later tonight!"

Blaine's smile was interrupted by his cell phone ringing "Speak of the devil… Hi Kurt!"

"Hi! How are you?"

"I'm fine, I'm just hanging with Wes and David. What's up?"

"Well, first, I don't really need a reason to call my boyfriend, now do I?" Blaine grinned and he could _hear_ Kurt smiling as well "But, I guess, so, I was just talking with my dad and I kind of let slip that I miss you a little bit" Blaine smiled at the sheepish tone Kurt used and he wondered how he could go from being so in command to the bashful adorable little voice "And he said that if you wanted you could come up and stay for the weekend."

"What? really?"

"Yeah, it's a just a couple of hours driving – ok, dad, a bit more than-a lot more than a couple of hours –, and I think you'd have to sleep in Finn's – no? really? Really? – ok, correction, you'd sleep in my bedroom, and it's just two or three nights top, anyways… So, what do you say, do you want to?"

"Let me see, do I want to go meet you and your pretty amazing family where you're spending your days at the beach and where I'd get to… hmmm… sleep comfortably and be with you all day…? Of course I do! I just have to ask my parents, I'll call you tonight, ok?"

"Yeah, listen, I really hope you can make it, Blaine…" there were sounds of shuffling and a door closing "I don't want to sound clingy or needy, but I really miss you…" Blaine started to slow his pace, letting David and Wes walk ahead.

"I miss you, too. And… thank your dad for me, will you? I thinks he deserves an award of some kind."

"He does..." Kurt chuckled "I think it had something to do with you calling me baby at the dinner table that Friday night dinner before we left. You were too embarrassed to notice how he looked at you… he just looked so… I don't know, I think he kind of fell in love you after that, a little bit… at least."

"You think?"

"Yeah, lately he's been all we should have Blaine over, and what do you think Blaine would say about this, or Blaine should see that… If I wasn't so happy you two got along so well I'd be crazy jealous. Seriously, my dad's just in love with you, I know it." Kurt chuckled.

"So I should make a habit out of saying 'could you pass the salt, baby?' more often then?"

"Mmm, I wouldn't mind either."

"No?" Blaine smirked flirtatiously, even if Kurt couldn't see it. David had turned around now and was gesturing for Blaine to let him talk to Kurt.

"No, it makes me feel all warm and giddy inside… every time. Is that weird?"

"I hope not…" Blaine smiled "Listen, baby, David wants to talk to you, ok?"

"Ok, sweetpea…"

"That's just…"

"Too much?" Kurt giggled.

"Precious in a too much kind of way, yeah…" Blaine laughed.

"Ok, pumpkin, talk to you later!"

"Alright, muffin!"

xXxXx

"Tommy, let your sister have the ball, please." Blaine hollered before checking his wristwatch for the time. Maybe he should get going, the kids still had to shower before dinner. He decided he'd let them play for another ten minutes before calling them over. Picking up his book he sat back. He'd read two lines before his cell rang.

"I know, I know, I'll be home in fifteen…" he said, without asking, surely that was the reason Kurt called- it was always the reason he called because Blaine always lost track of time.

"No. Don't. Don't come home, please."

"What? What happened Kurt?"

"Keep the kids away, don't… don't come home. My dad… had another heart attack. They're still trying to… the paramedics are still here… but it's so scary, Blaine, and they can't see this. Please keep them playing…"

"Ok…"

"I'll… I'll call you, if there's… anything."

"Ok…" Blaine ran a hand over his curls "I love you…"

"I love you, too."

Blaine clutched his cell phone in his hand, so tight it was amazing how it didn't break. "Oh god…" he muttered before burying his head in his hands and trying his hardest at keeping his shoulders from shaking, from giving away everything that was going on inside of him. He heard their little voices laughing and cheering, but they seemed so far away, like they were in a different world altogether. They were still in a world where they had their granddad, where Burt Hummel and his easy laugh existed. Where his granddad would still greet them with the warmest of hugs and the kindest of smiles.

And Blaine, Blaine lived in a world that every second that went by was one second closer to another call. Another excruciating call that would tell him it was over. That Burt Hummel – THE Burt Hummel – had passed away, left, moved on… Died. Where everything that ever went unsaid and undone would never get the chance to be said or done.

Blaine pressed his palms hard against his eyes – trying to block out all the 'what if's' running through his mind, he sniffed back his tears as he heard Alice and Tommy running towards him.

"Daddy, daddy! Alice's saying we don't have time for a re-match because we need to go home! She just wants to win! Always! And she's afraid I'll win her this time."

Blaine noticed the strange look that Alice gave him and he wondered if his eyes were all that red already, but he ignored it, smiling "No, there's time. Your dad just called and he said dinner's running late, so there's plenty of time for a re-match."

"See? I told you!"

"Well, it's just another chance for me to win!" she said haughtily, forgetting about her father's red eyes as quickly as she'd noticed them.

"You wish!"

"Bring it on!"

"Be nice!" Blaine warned the two of them as they ran off "Be careful!"

_Theyre still atteptint CPR. It's ben 1 hour. – K_

_Ok. 3 – B_

Blaine laid down his cell. He just knew, he could feel it in the pit of his stomach. Burt was gone. It was just a matter of time now. Of waiting helplessly for that call.

He couldn't stand it. He just couldn't. But he had too. It was then that he saw the small figure running towards them and he was never as grateful as he was now for Rachel Berry.

"Rachel?" He asked as she collided with him in a tackling hug before anything else.

She pulled back, gasping for air and he could see her tear stained cheeks and her red eyes "I came home for a small vacation and I was coming over to see Kurt and… Well, I was just getting in the way in there, so… You should go. I'll take care of them!"

"I… Are you sure?"

"Of course, I'll just… take them out for dinner or something. Go, and call me if there's anything else you need." She urged him. He just nodded and picked up his back. He almost took off running before he remembered to turn around.

"Alice, Tommy!" he called running to meet them where they stood "Daddy needs to go home, ok? But Auntie Rachel told me she really wants an evening out with you guys, so… behave!" he shot them a warning look and they both nodded "I'll see you later." He kissed them both with as much love as he had. Next time he'd see them it would be bearing terrible news and he wasn't quite sure how to deal with that just yet.

He took off practically sprinting for his car. When he parked in front of their house he could see the ambulance parked there. How was he supposed to think Burt was going to make it when they hadn't even moved him to the hospital?

He burst through the front door and left it wide open to run to the living room where he could hear stressed voices and barks of orders.

A paramedic stood over a body in the living room floor, pressing his hands rhythmically onto Burt's chest, but he looked… well… Blaine couldn't really bring himself to even _think_ what Burt looked like. It was one of those things he wasn't sure anyone should ever go through seeing -someone looking like that, it's just so haunting and overwhelmingly _real_. He looked around the rest of the room. Finn had enveloped Carole in tight hug at the corner of the room and she was a sobbing mess, he seemed a bit lost in thoughts, his eyes shiny and unfocused. He found Kurt, with his back turned to the whole spectacle, shoulders shaking violently, as he supported himself against the doorframe to the kitchen.

One of the paramedics approached Blaine "Sir…"

"I'm the son-in-law…" he muttered, holding out a hand, before barely sparing him another glance and starting towards Kurt.

"Ok…" The man on the floor, running a shaky hand through his hair – a hand that should be pressing on Burt's chest, not there, never there…, said "I… Ok… Time of death… five forty six p.m."

Blaine was so painfully aware of everything that happened then, like everyone slacking a bit in disappointment, regret and maybe, just a little bit of relief. But at the same time all he could see was how Kurt had turned around immediately at those words, how his eyes were so full of tears it was a miracle if he could see anything at all, how he opened his mouth to say something, or maybe it was just to scream or beg for more effort, but Blaine got there before he could. The second Blaine enveloped him in tight, strong arms, he melted at once into his embrace like it was everything keeping him in place. He felt as Kurt's legs gave out a little and Blaine had to keep him from falling, and when Kurt gripped him so hard that he was pretty sure it bruised, but it didn't hurt – somehow, because he could feel things, he could know they were happening but… he was numb in a way, and all that mattered was Kurt in his arms and Burt dead on the floor.

The whole room stayed silent for a long time, only sobs and shaky breaths breaking the silence every once in a while, or every few seconds occasional Carole's gasps of 'Oh god… oh _Burt_…'

Blaine wasn't sure when he started crying too because he was so lost in it all. Everything about that room was heavy, suffocating and claustrophobic, and yet he couldn't move. He couldn't move one inch.

It felt like he was trapped in a cage of both feelings and numbness – and the paradox of it all was just as paralyzing.

One of the paramedics pulled a white sheet over Burt and he felt as Kurt stopped breathing for a second, wide eyed, horrified, before looking away, burying his face "My dad, my dad, my dad… Blaine, my daddy!" Kurt mumbled, voice buried deep in the crook of Blaine's neck.

"I'm here, baby, I'm here, I'm right here…"

Kurt held onto Blaine for a while longer, fingers clutching fabric almost to the point of ripping, before his sobs started to subside and he finally extricated himself from Blaine's embrace, wiping his face with the back of his hand and sighing "Ok… Ok."


	4. Empty Home

"Kurt! Quit hogging the bathroom!" Burt pounded the door and Finn's light chuckle sounded as Burt mumbled something Kurt couldn't quite make out.

Ignoring the outside of that bathroom, he eyed his reflection on the mirror. What was going on with his hair that it would not cooperate? Another knock. Kurt sighed turning towards the door.

"Dad!" he whined flinging the door open "My hair is a disaster! Tonight's going to be a disaster! I can't go!"

"What in the hell are you talking about?" Burt frowned as Kurt flopped himself on top of the toilet seat, sighing defeated "Your hair looks like it usually does…"

"What? Don't say that, that's terrible!"

Burt laughed at the sheer look of panic on Kurt's face as he launched himself over the sink to gawk at his reflection. "What's going on, Kurt?"

"My first date with Blaine! It's ruined, because my hair has decided to be all over the place." The teenager gave up, throwing his hands in the air and sitting on the toilet seat.

"I'm quite sure Blaine won't care about your hair, or anything else, for that matter. I think he just wants your company…" Burt sat at the edge of the bathtub, squeezing his son's knee reassuringly.

"You don't get it, dad!"

"Try me."

Kurt raised his eyes to give his dad one of the best 'bitch please' stares, but it died as he saw the honesty in Burt's encouraging smile. He sighed "I've been waiting for this forever, dad… and yesterday, when he kissed me, I think my heart exploded, I was so happy, I still am… Then he asked me out on a _date_-date and of course I said yes, because for the last few months that's all I ever dreamed about! And up until five minutes ago I've been walking on sunshine. But my stupid hair is having a fit… and I know it's stupid and I'm being silly, but now all I can think about is all the ways in which I can mess this up… What if I get food stuck in my teeth? What if I spill my drink all over me… or worse, all over him? What if I sneeze and-"

"Kurt… How many times have you gone out with Blaine, for the movies and plays, and all that stuff you guys are always doing and for some reason never called it dating?"

"Tons, but that's different!"

"It doesn't have to be." Burt smiled "Just think of it this way – he's still your very good friend Blaine, and you're still his very good friend Kurt, only now you're a little bit more than that. But you're still the same people. If he's been your friend this long and if he's as infatuated with you as he'd better be, I'm sure he won't mind your hair sticking out a little, or food stuck in your teeth."

"I just… I just want it to be perfect, dad… This is my first date." Kurt searched Burt's eyes for understanding and he found himself drowning in it.

"I know…" Burt sighed "Honestly I'm as scared as you are… For different reasons, obviously. I'm new to this too, kid… you going out, and being… with boys. I really don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't, dad. Blaine's amazing. He'd never hurt me, not on purpose."

"Good. So you have nothing to worry about."

"I suppose…"

"Listen, I remember my first date with your mom… God, I was so nervous, and she was, too, I think. She was just… so intimidating… Well, not her, the situation. Because I knew I had to have her, and I got it into my head that had to make her fall in love with me in that one night, because I was crazy about her and you can guess how nervous I was, right… Trying to impress your mom! Ha! Of course I ended up looking like a complete jackass for the first hour of our date…"

"But…"

"But I could see she was not liking it, so I gave it up, told her honestly I was just trying to impress her and she told me I didn't need to try. So I stopped trying… the rest of the date was one of the best nights of my life.." He sighed, smiling as he let himself reminisce for a moment before turning to Kurt, squeezing his knee "So, I guess… What I'm saying, son, is that you just gotta relax, and have fun."

Kurt sighed, scrunched up his face in a little smile and nodded "I will."

"Good, because you, Kurt, are one hell of a catch and if Blaine doesn't see that just because your hair's a little off than he's just too dumb for you." Kurt ducked his eyes chuckling and Burt smiled before raising a hand to cup his chin, making him look up and locking their eyes "I mean it, Kurt… I'm very proud to have you as my son, and it's your business to chose whoever you want to be with, but they need to know they have my greatest treasure in their hands and they need to appreciate it right, and you… You need to know how much I love you, no matter what. And I'm lucky to be your dad, so freaking lucky, but Blaine, or whomever may come along, they'll be even luckier, because they will have been chosen by you. By the most spectacular kid in all of Ohio!"

"Dad…!" Kurt launched his arms around his father's shoulders and held on to him tight "I love you so much!" he spoke into his shoulder, his voice muffled by the worn down flannel.

"Good, now get the hell out of here cuz I need to use the bathroom!" They both chuckled as Kurt nodded into his father's shoulder before pulling back and standing up.

He brushed the creases off his outfit, gave one last glance towards the mirror before smiling and leaving "Thanks, dad."

xXxXx

Blaine shrugged off his black coat, and helped Kurt get out of his own, not bothering to hang them properly. He wasn't surprised when Kurt didn't so much as blink at his lack of care. "Could we just… go to bed? I'm exhausted." Kurt sighed, holding onto Blaine's shoulder with one hand as he kicked off his shoes.

"Sure…" Blaine smiled sympathetically "Do you mind if I make some tea first? Do you want some?"

"No, I just really want to sleep…" His voice was so small.

"Ok…" Blaine nodded, before leaning up to kiss Kurt's forehead, whispering "I'll just be a minute, ok?"

"'K… I'll just go ahead and get myself ready for bed…"

Blaine squeezed his hand before letting it go. He watched as Kurt made his way upstairs, only moving once he was out of sight. With a deep sigh he made his way to the all too empty kitchen. Carole and Finn were still at the church, but they'd urged Blaine to bring Kurt home – he just looked so worn out.

As he waited for the water to boil Blaine eyed his surroundings carefully for the first time since they got back. He'd been in this house many, many times, but it'd never seemed as unfittingly big or depressingly empty – it was like he was seeing the house for the first and thousandth time simultaneously. What shocked him most was the big chair, by the TV… That was where he used to sit. Most afternoons that Blaine used to come over, when they were kids, that was where he sat, that was where he greeted Blaine, smiled and asked how he was doing, if he was sure he didn't want to stay for dinner, where he would congratulate Blaine on his school results (which for some reason he always knew) or comment on the lasts game.

Blaine felt his chest tighten. For a house that looked so empty and so big, it suddenly felt a hell of a lot claustrophobic now. There just wasn't enough air. He'd just kept seeing him smiling and laughing, that twinkle in his eyes as he teased Blaine "So when are you going to propose to Kurt, huh?" and "when are you two gonna give me some grandkids, huh?". He just couldn't deal with seeing that. Blaine turned away from the couch because he just couldn't look at it. He gripped the counter tight, trying to keep the tears away. His whole body shaking.

With a few calming breaths he managed to get a grip on himself.

With on last trembling sigh he straightened himself up and rubbed the bridge of his nose quietly. That's when he heard it – the loud thump upstairs.

"Kurt?"

There was no response.

"Kurt?" He repeated louder jogging up to the bottom of the stairs. He could hear some shuffling noises "Kurt?… Sweetheart?" He ran up the stairs "Kurt?"

He found the bathroom door ajar, light streaming out to the dark corridor – he could hear the quiet sobs coming from inside. He pushed the door open carefully. His heart dropped to the pits of hell as he was faced with the sight of Kurt lying on the floor, curling in on himself, trying to hold his body together as he fell apart, tears pouring down his face, and his sobs suddenly breaking free, and coming out broken and uneven. He didn't even look up as Blaine gasped, just kept on crying "Oh, Kurt…" He sighed, crashing to his knees at once, and wrapping his arms around Kurt's fragile frame, his own eyes flooding in a split second. Immediately Kurt's arms flew to wrap themselves around Blaine's torso, gripping him so tightly that in any other situation it would've hurt. But now, Blaine was glad to feel them… Kurt was still strong and vital – yes he was in pain, but at least he was well alive.

Blaine didn't even so much as Shhhh'ed Kurt… He couldn't. Kurt needed this. Today he deserved this, Blaine was sure of it. So, if Kurt needed to cry, then he should cry, without restrain. He felt as his tears seeped through the fabric of Blaine's white shirt, soaking it, and he wondered if Kurt could feel his own, dampening his hair as he buried his face in Kurt's hair.

"I c-can't…" Kurt muttered after a while.

"What is it?"

"I… too much… too much mem-mem-mories…"

"I know, love, I know…" Blaine murmured, holding him tighter.

"This… this whole ho-house… it's him… he's eve-every… where."

Blaine just nodded – it was true, he knew that, he knew that for a while now it would be hard not to go into a room and think of him, or sit down on a couch and not remember something. Everything in that house – in that home – took them back to him. It was both beautiful and heartbreaking. But that night… that night it was mostly heartbreaking. Painful. Excruciating. Suffocating.

"I m-m-miss him… a-alre-eady" Kurt cried, his voice breaking so much it was barely understandable "It h-h-hurts s-so much, Blaine… It j-just **hurts**."

"Oh god!" Blaine lost it for a second there as his own sob came loud and clear and he held on to Kurt as for dear life.

"I want my daddy back, Blaine! I need him! I need him back!"

_xXxXx_

_(one more little chapter to go)_


	5. It'll Be Ok

Kurt eyed the soup on his plate warily. He looked at his dad, a similar disgusting looking and just as untouched plate of soup in front of him He watched as his father took a spoon to his mouth, swallowing with an ill-concealed grimace. Kurt took his own spoon to his moth but as soon as he'd registered the taste and texture he spit it out.

"Kurt?"

Kurt looked at his dad, eyes wide and scared. "I'm sorry!" he blurted at once "I'll… I'll eat it!"

Burt looked between his son and the food before cracking a smile "Jeez, this tastes terrible, doesn't it?"

Kurt smiled shyly "Kind of…" he shrugged. "It's a good effort though…"

Burt nodded with a soft smile before picking up their plates and setting them aside. "Maybe the meat…" he mumbled as he took the knife and a fork to it, but as watery red liquid started pouring down and he pulled back a slice, to reveal bright pink meat he couldn't hold back his laugh. Kurt frowned at his dad before standing up on his tiptoes and looking at him himself. He looked between the raw meat and his father and he couldn't help his giggles, either. He couldn't. Before they knew it they were double over laughing and Burt was looking for take-out numbers on the fridge, and for a minute the both of them caught a glimpse of them doing it – of them managing to be ok, in spite of it all. It would be ok.

xXxXx

"Dad, you overcooked the pasta!" Alice whined, twirling her fork around her plate and watching as it disintegrated easily "It's really not that hard!"

"Oh…?" Kurt looked at her, eyebrow raised, as he paused midway to serving Blaine with said overcooked pasta.

"You put it in when the water's already boiling and the you check it every once in a while! You can throw it at the wall and if it sticks it's ready. God, dad, it's so _easy_!"

Finn snorted, covering his mouth with his napkin in a strange, out of character moment of politeness.

"What's so funny, Finn?" Kurt sighed, sitting back in his chair.

"You're getting cooking advice from a ten year old."

"Oh, please, Alice likes to think she knows everything! She'll be giving you football advice tomorrow, just wait for it!" Kurt rolled his eyes, but stopped midway as Blaine chuckled next to him "What?"

"Well, it does taste pretty awful, sweetie, I think you mistook salt for sugar…" Blaine smiled putting back down his fork with no intention of picking it up again.

Kurt's face became a scorching shade of red, his eyes wide and terrified as he looked back at his plate. He picked up his fork and took a small bite, his eyes becoming even wider and his cheeks redder.

There was a high snort of laughter from the head of the table and Carole was clutching her sides "You did, honey! You put sugar here!"

"Oh God…" Kurt whispered "I did…" he hung his head in shame "This is disgusting."

"I told you!" Alice cried out triumphantly and Blaine ruffled her hair chuckling.

"No need to brag, Alice…" but he couldn't help it if everyone on the table was letting their chuckles evolve into full-hearted laughs. Even Kurt was shaking his head and laughing at his own failure.

Finn got up, beaming "I'll go order some pizzas…"

"YAAAAAY!" Tommy and Alice bounced up and down in their seats before sprinting to run after their uncle and the laughter became even louder. Blaine clutched his side, trying to regain some sort of composure.

He glanced at Kurt as he giggled and let his head fall on the table, his arms resting around it shaking with laughter. He didn't know exactly what it was that changed, but after a few moments Blaine knew Kurt wasn't laughing anymore, and that his shoulders weren't shaking with ill contained amusement, but with sobs. He was as discreet as he could as he squeezed Kurt's knee under the table and leaned closer "Hey, it'll be alright… it'll be ok."

Kurt sighed deeply, turning his face, resting his cheek on the back of his hand, there was only a couple of tears streaming down his cheeks as he smiled bitterly "I know…" he nodded shortly "I know it will."

xXxXx

_The End_


End file.
